Blaaaaaaah!!

Blaaaah.  That's how I feel today.  I have reached a dreaded point in nursing where my hormones go CRAZY!  I am so anal irritable.  I feel like the worst mom.  Everything drives me crazy and all I know to do is think of heaven.  Messes, noises, my to-do list, laundry....you name it....it's driving me crazy.

On a better note, maybe I will remind myself of a few of my wonderful, undeserving blessings....of a few things that bring me joy.

Grace, forgiven, thin mint ice cream, sunshine, peppermint mochas, peppermint dark chocolate ice cream, giggles from Levi, smiles from Halle, kisses from Luke, a warm shower, a warm house, a warm bed, friends, family, an amazing husband, my acorn house shoes, OBX, Katie Rosario Photography, my back yard, having my hair did, a massage, health, Jesus, baby skin, baby feet, breastfeeding my children, my ability to read, education, clean water, freedom, walking, shopping, Sal's steak sandwich, the color purple, spring, a new snow, Christmas, some Jimmy, ability to stay home, love, sleep, shoes, music, BSF, rain.....

I am sure I could go on for days.  It is helpful for me to remind myself of these things when I get caught up in my frustration.

I have been trying to give thanks to God more than I send up request.  A grateful heart is a cheerful heart.  Starting my day, my time with him by giving thanks makes my time with Him more about Him and less about me.  The bigger He is, the smaller our circumstances are.  Our circumstances are always temporary but He remains.

Isaiah 51:8
.......But my righteousness will last forever,
        my salvation through all generations.

So why do I continue to breastfeed?  Well, I feel it is best for me, my family, and that I can sacrifice 12 months of my life for my child.  I know it is not permanent and that it will end.  I truly enjoy it and there is NOTHING like it.  It is not for everyone, I understand that, but it has been an incredible bonding experience with each child.

I read about a study a few years ago about breastfeeding and breast cancer.  I WILL butcher this but oh well........it is difficult to find a women who has breastfeed at least 4 children AND has had breast cancer.  I am not sure this is true and would actually like to know if it is.  Does anyone know??